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A random selection of fabulous quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over 100,000 famous quotes.

Random Funny Quotes - 75

Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF


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John Locke

Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.


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Hyman Rickover

Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.


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John Steinbeck

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.


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John Adams

I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence, for the illumination of the ignorant and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.


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Hillary Rodham Clinton

Women are always being tested...but ultimately, each of us has to define who we are individually and then do the very best job we can to grow into it.


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Unknown

It is not doing the things we like to do, But liking the things we have to do That makes life blessed.


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Colonel Sanders

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.


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Kelly Le Brock

On her first meeting with he ex-husband, Steven Seagal He reminded me of an alien.


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Garry Kasparov, Baltic Development Forum, Hamburg, September 13, 2004

It’s more easy to win a chess game in five minutes than it is to talk about Russia’s problems in 15 minutes


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Richard Simmons

Energy is that amazing feeling that comes to life inside of you when you’re happy and believe in yourself.


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Kimon Nicolaides

The sooner you make your first five thousand mistakes the sooner you will be able to correct them.



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