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A random selection of fabulous
quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
100,000 famous quotes.
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Random Funny Quotes - 178
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Oscar Levant
I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.
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Frank Lloyd Wright
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
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Horace Mann
It is more difficult, and it calls for higher energies of soul, to live a martyr than to die one.
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Gore Vidal
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
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Baltasar Gracian
The great art of giving consists in this the gift should cost very little and yet be greatly coveted, so that it may be the more highly appreciated.
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Seneca
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long.
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Confucius
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I could be a bird, I think I'd be a penguin, because then I could walk around on two feet with a lot of other guys like me.
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Malayan Proverb
Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cocks; bleat in a flock of goats.
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Baltasar Gracian
The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
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Pablo Picasso
God is really only another artist, he made the elephat, giraffe and cat. He has no real style but keeps trying new ideas.
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David Bissonette
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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