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A random selection of fabulous
quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
100,000 famous quotes.
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Random Funny Quotes - 185
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George Bernard Shaw
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
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Thomas Jefferson
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
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Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, chapter 10 (1916)
Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Science and Scientism"
Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson, "American Civilization", The Atlantic Monthly, 1862
Hitch your wagon to a star.
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Milton Garland
Don't worry about anything. Worrying never solved anything. All it does is distort your mind.
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Jerry Garcia, Scarlet Bergonias
Once in a while you get shown the light in the stangest of places if you look at it right.
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Stanislaw J. Lec
Never lie when the truth is more profitable.
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Bernard Bailey
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
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Sean O\'Casey
What time has been wasted during man's destiny in the struggle to decide what man's next world will be like The keener the effort to find out, the less he knew about the present one he lived in.
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Alexander Hamilton
Power may be justly compared to a great river while kept within its bounds it is both beautiful and useful, but when it overflows its banks, it is then too impetuous to be stemmed it bears down all before it, and brings destruction and desolation wherever it goes.
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George Jean Nathan
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
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